They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
So much rum. So many feels.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
