look no pants
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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