I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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