I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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