im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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