try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We just shotgunned beers for America
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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