I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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