im about as happy as oj after his trial
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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