Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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