I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
