You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize