hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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