I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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