The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
