You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
