Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
