and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
