how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
