We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
