do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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