she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
