dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
