I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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