You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
