She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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