oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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