Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
