i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
