I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
P.S. I can't hear my feet
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
