today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize