he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
