All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
