youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
