Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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