maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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