Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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