he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
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It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
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Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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