You really coming over, don't trick.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
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