I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
