Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
