I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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