i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
