It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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