I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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