I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Randomize
