i barfeds in our rink
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
