she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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