She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
3 2 1 whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize