I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
