so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
