My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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