I faked an abortion last night.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
