I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
