chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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