i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize