Who did Billy Mays play for?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
