So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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