yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
