just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You were trust falling into bushes
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
