I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
