We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
